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      Florida Sun

      April 30th
      Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watch the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

      Florida Sun

      May 14th
      Really heating up. Got to 89 today. Not a problem, I live in an air- conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.

      Florida Sun

      June 5th
      Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

      Florida Sun

      July 1st
      The temperature hasn't been below 90 all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about, still seems hot. Getting used to it takes a while I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers, cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.

      Florida Sun

      July 15th
      Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body) Missed two days work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect that ol' sun in a climate like this.

      Florida Sun

      July 20th
      I miss our cat, Tabby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opener the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!

      Florida Sun

      July 25th
      Ocean breezes, my stars. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman cherged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.

      Florida Sun

      July 30th
      Been sleeping outside the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitos that are as big as B-52s. $1500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

      Florida Sun

      Aug 4th
      100 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.

      Florida Sun

      Aug 8th
      If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. Darn heat! By the time I got to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!

      Florida Sun

      Aug 10th
      The weather report might as well be a darn recording: Hot and sunny It's been too hot for two #@*%& months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God forsaken place?

      Florida Sun

      Aug 14th
      Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said... "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to get me out of jail.

      Florida Sun

      Aug 30th
      Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is make it muggier than hell, and drive the darn roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware that they could fly. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to New York where all you got to worry about is getting mugged. I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba.


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      Last updated on July 15, 2001


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